The Bachelorette Week 5 Recap: Scotland, Home of the “Luke-Ness Monster”

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THE BACHELORETTE – “1505” – The amped-up emotions of last week continue as Hannah pulls two bitter rivals aside to try to get to the real truth behind the bad blood between them. Her efforts to mediate backfire with the rose ceremony looming. But before the first rose is even handed out, a shocking disappointment […]

Thank you, Jed for being the inspiration for the title of this recap. 

The men are sick of the Luke drama and so are we! After a week of being left on the edge of our seats and this week’s episode being pushed back, we finally get answers when the men and Hannah arrive in Scotland!

The Battle of the Lukes is over but it didn’t end how we expected! You will have to continue reading to find out all the details.

Battle of the Lukes

The Luke P. and S. drama is so heated right now, I decided it deserves its own section.

Last week we left off with Hannah pulling the Lukes aside and forcing them to speak to one another while she listened. She put two men in the hot seat this time! But it is mostly Luke S. who does all the talking while Luke P. sits there and makes defensive and confused faces. Like usual when he is confronted.

We get nowhere with this little sit down. It is just a bunch of back and forth between the Lukes. Luke S. says Luke P. is saying nothing but lies and Luke P. sticks with his original comment that Luke S. is not fit for Hannah.

With the conversation going in circles, Hannah gets up out of frustration and leaves. But this does not end our men’s conversation. They continue on, telling one another what they did and are doing wrong.

Then Chris Harrison walks in and informs them the night is over, they are going straight into the rose ceremony.

Does this mean Hannah has had enough and will send both the Lukes home?

Rose Ceremony

Hannah goes into the rose ceremony tapping into the strong woman she is and intends to stand up for herself and what she believes in.

But first Luke S. wants to speak to her.

As Luke speaks, I am sure he is going home. Hannah’s blank face says it all. Yup, she has had enough.

But then LUKE S. LEAVES! He sends himself home! What!? After all this fighting and defending yourself, you send yourself home?

Hannah does not seem too upset by this decision he has mad. Was she going to send him home anyway? I am convinced she was until Chris strolls in and takes a rose. Luke S.’s rose! Hannah was never going to send him home.

Luke S. fell right into Luke P.’s game

This is another rose ceremony where Luke P. is left sweating. I am again so sure this Luke will be sent home. But Hannah surprises us again. She gives Luke P. the final rose of the night.

“Luke P. is still here because my heart wants him to be here,” Hannah says. “My head doesn’t always want him to be here.”

This leaves John Paul Jones without. While I knew John Paul Jones was not going to be the last man standing, I still wanted him to stick around and so did many other fans. 

Oh, and Matteo went home as well. 

First one-on-one

What is haggis?

Mike is surprised with a one-on-one when Hannah interrupts the boys drinking festivities at a local pub. He and Hannah head out the door, leaving Luke P. to deal with the heat from all the other men. Jed warns Luke that he better not “cross the line” or start feeding Hannah more revised version of what the men say.

But this isn’t about Luke, it is about Mike, Hannah, and their one-on-one in the Perfect Place to Fall in Love. And that is what many of us are hoping for!

They stroll through town, stopping at a bookstore where Mike reads Hannah poetry and then head to Mr. Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe (my kind of date!) where the date takes a very sour turn when the two try “Black Death.” A sweet treat with an extremely sour coating.

To help with the “Black Death’s” impact, Mike and Hannah continue on for some whiskey samples. Hannah is feeling great after a few. The two loosen up until someone gives them haggis. Hannah is a fan until the man tells them what exactly haggis is. “It’s the intestines of sheep cooked in the skin of the belly of the sheep.” Explains the man. “It’s not good. I don’t eat it.”

Later in the night we see Mike open up to Hannah which is something we have not seen yet. He lets Hannah know he is scared to get his heart broken. And is very nervous about this whole journey but is able to see himself getting down on one knee in a couple weeks.

He receives the rose because he took giant steps to be open and vulnerable with Hannah, allowing her to see what they could be.

Group date

Love is a battle field

The men to take part in the first ever Bachelorette Highland Games are Devin, Tyler, Jed, Dylan, Grant, Connor, Dustin, Peter Kevin, and Garrett. May the best man win Hannah’s heart. Of course Luke’s excitement immediately shoots up when he realizes he will get the second one-on-one this week.

Hannah’s dates have somewhat of theme: violence. The group dates are always the men roughing each other up and trying to prove who is the manliest man of all. But hey, she wants a big, strong man to take care of her so it makes sense and it is great entertainment for us!

The games consist of ax throwing (which none of the men are good at…), milk races and wrestling! But the men are wrestling in kilts. No boxers, no briefs, nothing underneath. Their bag pipes are out for everyone in the crowd, and Hannah, to see. “It’s not the size of the bagpipes, but how you play them,” she says. She is obviously enjoying herself.

Jed challenges Hannah because she is the only one he wants to be pinned by. The smoothest move on the date and quite possibly all the dates! Maybe this is why Jed wins the Bachelorette Highland Games and is the winner of one foot of land. This makes him a lord so that’s pretty awesome!

Jed also is Hannah’s first make out sesh of the night in a chair. Next is on a pool table with Peter. Then there is Garrett and lastly, Tyler. That is 4 make out sessions in maybe half an hour!?

The rose could go any which way! I have no guesses as to which man will receive the group date rose. But am so pleased when Hannah gives it to Lord Jed!

Notice there was no drama is the group date recap? Yea, because there was no Luke P.

Second one-on-one

“One way or another”

Luke P.’s name is on the date card, of course, with a not so certain message- “Luke, let’s figure things out… one way or another.”

Luke interprets the message as “one way or another, Luke, we’re gonna get through this.” Wishful thinking Luke.

The guys give Luke a nice, warm send-off for his date. But are sure to get the point across that he shouldn’t bring up anyone else’s name. Luke says he did not plan on it.

Hannah is waiting for Luke on the edge of a gorgeous peninsula. So green, so pretty, and so calm. The perfect place to do literally nothing else but talk.

“He doesn’t always express his emotions, he seems like he’s trying to be perfect and it comes off really fake,” she says. “Either today is the first one-on-one with my future husband, or it’s the first and last one-on-one date with Luke.” We are all sick of the drama, so we are hoping for the second one!

As the look over the ocean, you can sense the tension and awkwardness between these two. And for once, it is not sexual tension. It is tension being caused by the giant elephant sitting the edge of the blanket with them.

Luke asks the question “is there anything you want to talk about?” and the elephant moves in even closer, nearly suffocating Hannah. Obviously there is something to talk about Luke! There is a lot to talk about.

Hannah still does not understand why all the men dislike Luke so much. So Luke blames it on the most recent incident on the sidelines with Luke S. He admits he was in the wrong at that moment and should have handled the situation better. But because he acted the way he did, this is why the men are starting to speak badly of him and dislike him.

He has pulled out the victim card and is using it to its full potential. Even I find myself giving Luke the benefit of the doubt and I’ve seen all the behind-the-scenes conversations! He’s good.

Hannah puts a lot of emphasis on Luke’s emotions throughout the whole date. But Luke never budges leaving her unsure about their relationship. 

And Luke puts a lot of emphasis on giving Hannah Clarity. He says it multiple times even after Hannah tells him that’s not what she wants.

Hannah continues to push to see Luke’s emotions, see how he feels. To find out simple things like if he likes macaroni and cheese or spaghetti more. The important things.

Nothing. 

At dinner, Luke asks Hannah when she finally let go and allowed herself to be who she is because this is what Luke is trying to do. Or at least I think he is trying to? Or he might just want it to seem that way so it looks like he is already making progress on what Hannah is asking of him. 

Hannah is trying really hard to break down Luke’s walls because she knows something is there between them. She is basing it off their initial connection. But that connection is quickly fading away. She doesn’t like that she likes Luke. She doesn’t want to but cannot help it.

In the end Hannah realizes there is no getting through to him and Luke does not receive the rose.

So this means Luke goes home right? But why is he in the last snip bit of the promo for next week’s episode!?  

The promo is soooo juicy and leaves me wanting it to already be Monday, June 17th!

Who screwed up? Who said what? Who is throwing people under the bus now? Will Hannah continue on? What is the deal with Luke P.!?

Be sure to tune in next week on My ABC WOTV4 at 8pm for more drama!

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