Gilda's Club, U-M expand help for kids

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) - Gilda's Club Grand Rapids , the organization that's revolutionized how families cope with cancer, is starting a new program exclusively for children who've lost a loved one.

The new program, to be officially announced Monday, will help kids cope with their loss, even if it's not from cancer. The announcement will also lay the framework for a groundbreaking University of Michigan study.

Two lives already being touched by the program are Tyler and Sam Konetzka of Dutton. On Good Friday 2007, their family was involved in a car wreck as they were driving to church in Grand Traverse County. There were seven family members in the minivan.

"We hit the corner of a tow truck, and the whole entire side of the van got torn open like a can opener," Tyler, 10, told 24 Hour News 8. His 11-year-old brother Sam said he remembers there were sirens all over the road.

"Then I looked back," Tyler said, "and I could see that they were dead." Those were his brothers, Dakotah, 12 and Austin, 11.

On their living room couch, Tyler and Sam share photos of the four brothers together. This painful journey took them to an unlikely place -- Gilda's Club Grand Rapids.

"We know that when children are able to have similar experiences to those around them, it helps them feel a little better, a little less different maybe," said Scott Hawkins of Gilda's Club Grand Rapids.

For the Konetzkas, and so many other children, the children's grief program at Gilda's Club is a once a week chance to come together, share a meal, and share their story.

Research shows one out of eight children will lose a parent before reaching 18. And according to experts, that sometimes causes changes in a child's brain with devastating results. Later in life, there can be a higher chance of drug and alcohol abuse, and even divorce.

They are risk factors a University of Michigan researcher plans to study in a three-year partnership with Gilda's Club. The "Circle Project" will enroll 100 children and will attempt to answer three questions: How do children grieve after losing a parent? Are certain children more likely to develop problems after such a loss? And, what coping strategies help grieving children best?

For months, Gilda's Club has been quietly working with grieving children. The free program is now going public along with their fundraising efforts. So far, they've raised $600,000 but need another $400,000 to keep helping kids like Tyler and Sam Konetzka.

With the help of Gilda's Club, the boys said they are learning to live happily again. And that's a lesson that will last a lifetime.

To learn more about the children's grief program at Gilda's Club, or would like to enroll in the University of Michigan study, call 616-453-8300. Both are free.